Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
