she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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