I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize