I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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