I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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