I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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