i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
