sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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