Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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