hotel room ftw
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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