k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
