I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
