Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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