But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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