and you said cock pushups were impossible
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We have so much sex to catch up on
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
