the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
