As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
