Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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