But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize