We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
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my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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