$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she smelled like a LAN party
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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