How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
