I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
