His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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