just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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