k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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