In the future we'll all be gay
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
