my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
