i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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