he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
