Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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