coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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