Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
