I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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