hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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