those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Pants are for mortals
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
