HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
