Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
