It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
