she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
