Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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