I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
