how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
