Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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