can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
