i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
