Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
