It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize