I love black thongs
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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