I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
thus making me awesome and them whores
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
