guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
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right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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