..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's the barista slut.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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