Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
