i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
