I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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