I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Let's get the cat blown out
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
