How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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