Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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