My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
what day is it and did you see me today?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
