Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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