Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
