Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
