why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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