I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
